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| http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDSK91mUNLU |
So. Mika here thinks that "big girls are beautiful". Well as far as the girls in the video go some are ok. After a stylist, makeup artist and several post production folks have had a good tinker with you.
Thing is, this prick is telling every lardy twat in the country that they're just fucking fine and dandy as they are. Jamie Oliver dies for your sins and this is how you repay him!?!?
I could write a book about what is wrong with this situation but i'll settle for a blog post. Now, first of all i'm not using the word big. Lets call a spade a spade here. Fat. Yes, fat. That's right. Fat girls you are apparently beautiful. According to one man who would absolutely never even think of sleeping with you.
Sorry to burst your bubble but the fact is Mika is very, very gay indeed and would never even entertain the thought of being anything other than a friend to you.
So on a typical night out wiht Mika you could expect to be chated up by some labourer from Bolton or something. Yay, go you! Fatty done pulled a retard! Well done. I hope you're happy together.
A far more likely scenario is that you will sit there with Mika and watch men stay away in their droves, thats ok though! You're only out with your friend who understands you as a woman and sees you for who you are. Regardless of size. He'll get a call after a couple of hours and go see his "friend" but that's cool. You had a good night, you go home and sleep it off and you know what? It's all ok because he loves you for who you are and you're happy with your size. 20 or otherwise.
So you turn on the TV at home, and what comes on but that advert you like. You know? The diet coke one, where that gorgeous bloke comes and takes his top off! Ooh he's lovely isn't he? He's not there this time though. No, it's Eamonn Holmes.
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| He's not even that fat, but would you go round singing "average bloke, you are wonderful"? would you fuck. |
Eamonn is standing there topless while these Bridget Jones types leer at him and give themselves in to a sexual frenzy. Still finding this cheeky, sexy, funny? No, no youre not. Why's this? Well because you just got fucking SERVED, thats why!
Eamonn Holmes isn't even that fat, hes not massive, hes thouroughly averaged really for a middle aged man. Who is going round singing his praises? Do we have some woman singing a catchy disco-pop tune while a hundred husky but unremarkable middle aged men mince down some stairs behind them? No!
I've a couple of theories about why this is and the first one is that men just don't care. You know why? No, it's not because men are stupid, you could NOT be further from the truth. It's because men do not care about this trivial shit due to the fact that we are too busy trying to improve ourselves and everything else. Yes, you read that right. Real men don't get involved in this superficial shit due to the fact that we are all too busy doing a job, or trying to make something of ourselves for our families, or to attract someone to start a family with. Granted we do attempt to scrub up when we need to but we don't need a fucking pop singer to tell us that we have permission to do so. Most men's attitude goes something like "why are you singing about me? because i'm AWESOME? Well i knew that already, fuck off!".
Thats how we think because thats how we're MEANT to think.
The second theory is that the men who do need this positive reassurance are so ashamed of it that they do not want anyone drawing attention to this fact, well this isnt something i can help with too much except to say that if that is you, then just do everything you can to sort that shit out. I used to be a right fat bastard myself, i lost weight and it wasnt easy but i did it. I'm not skinny now by any means but you know what? I have a lot of self confidence because i know i'm a really god guy and i have a lot to be proud of. If you don't see that yourself then you're just not looking hard enough. Seriously, fucking internet fives.
So here comes the main points, the main one being that if you're reading this and you're a woman are you so insecure that you need some idiot to write a song to say you're ok? Do you fuck, what you need is to look in a mirror and say that maybe youre not megan fox, and maybe you're not perfect, but you will never need anyone to validate you as a person. You're doing ok, and as long as you accept that you're not perfect, but you could be a hell of a lot worse, then you don't need anyone to patronize you! Does the media stick size zero models everywhere? So what? Do you think i reckon i'll ever get a girl who looks like Natalie Portman? Do you think i want to? Hell no! As long as you give me a boner and are fun to hang out with we're fine!
Give yourself a break, its stupid to think that this is what's excpected of you!
Anyway what im saying is just be happy and that you have every right to be confident and happy. It's a symptom of something very wrong when Mika has to write shit like that song, it's not your fault and you should sort yourself out if you're unhealthy, but if you can be happy then don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
FUCK YEAH. MAN THOUGHTS.
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