There is currently something resembling a particularly rubbish female drag king attempting to look like Preston From the ordainary boys running like a woman and begging to be loved by what looks like a friday night in fucking Cardiff. This is apparently entertaining because the studio audience seem to make screeching noises everytime Paddy McGuinness opens his stupid, northern wordhole. After choosing whatever bastion of feminism decides that Preston is worthy of sniffing their taint they are summarily packed off to some tropical paradise so they can sit outside eating in the wind and go surfing or something. All the time having conversations which would make Noel Coward implode with jealousy. Why do we want to see some povvy gobshite and some pointless little woman that has marginally less personality than a parsnip frolic about in the sun? We're sat in england miserable, cold and cynical. There is no reason to live vicariously through people who i would probably poke with a stick rather than talk to. I would be more likely to study their habits than fuck them.
The newest prole to beg for sex after arriving down the failtube is a scottish italian man who runs a chippy. Wonderful. He then proceeds to make pizza and say the words "spicy sausage" in a way that one of the harridans find amusing. It is then revealed that one of the girls still in the running to bone this knobjockey once "snogged a professional footballer". This is revealed by McGuinness in a manner that suggests that this woman had located a cure for cancer and created cold fusion in the same day. This pretty much sums up the entire show.
Another theme of the show is of a young welsh girl named Lucy. Lucy is a cute, pretty young lady who seems harmless and friendly even if she's not a bastion of intelligence. She actually seems like a nice person and someone even i would have a problem slagging off. Needless to say Lucy has been on this shitpile since records began and has yet to be chosen by any of the gurning fuckwits who grace the glittering floor of this sheer dickery.
The thing that baffles me most about this show, apart from the deification of stupidity, the cheapness of the whole thing, the speed dating on speed format, PADDY FUCKING MCGUINNESS (a man so devoid of any personality that if we put him in the LHC he would more than likely fuck the entire universe then start on any multiverses that may or may not exist, therefore absorbing us into him and rendering hell a vile, horrible reality), and the girls who with few exceptions make a tremendous argument for misogyny, that totally baffles me, is that a lot of my friends love this. Even some of the most intelligent people i know watch this every weekend without fail. To be honest i feel a bit left out. I bloody hate it. Maybe i'm just too cynical or jaded but the fact is i find this impossible to enjoy. Anyway if you read this far then well done. here is a picture.
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| BASTARD. |
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