It's not my fault. I don't actually want to horribly murder anyone in the face. I actually don't like real life violence.
Unfortunately though, Kieth Vaz has pointed out, yet again that playing violent video games turns people like me into killing machines. We don't feel remorse, or pity, or pain, and we will. Not. Stop. EVER. Until you are dead or we have a bottle of Pepsi and some snacks (don't wanna be afk now do we?).
What utter cockery! Call of Duty is a violent game, this is true. It's also rated 18 in the UK, so little kids shouldn't be playing it. If they are, then it's their parent's fault! Kieth doesn't want to listen to that though, oh no, he wants to go all Helen Lovejoy and stand there screaming THINK OF THE CHILDREN! While waving a copy of GTA around. I am 31 years old and have never murdered anyone. The last time I got in a fight was about 20 years ago. I'm usually found in restaurants with my girlfriend on nights out, and up until about a year ago I was a vegetarian. Sadly, according to Kieth This means I am about to go and horribly murder several of you whilst claiming to be a member of popular Jedi Cash machines, the Knights Templar. You think I'm kidding? Here's some games I've played. In some cases obsessively:
Left 4 Dead
Skyrim (which is an incredible game, and the link here sells it a bit short).
Dead Rising 2
Killzone 3
That's a very, very small selection of the games I own, or have owned. When I was in school I used to play Contra, and Doom. Two games which look a bit shonky now, but are nevertheless quite violent. Compare that to the ott violence in dead rising and it might appear shocking, but no more than other media. I really think that Kieth (please don't click that one, I actually threw up a bit in my mouth when I saw the pictures on the article, what can I say? I'm committed!) has misjudged what constitutes a gamer.
The people I know who play games are like me, mid twenties to early thirties, decent Job and relatively quiet. It's about escapism, nothing more. I can sit and watch the news telling me that I'm going to be horribly murdered in the face by Brevik, or Klebold and Harris, or I can slay dragons and jump off waterfalls and protect villages. I posted a link to skyrim before to emphasise that it's a violent game. What I didn't mention is the fact that throughout the game I have constantly protected innocent people from attack, I have reunited mothers with their children, and even saved an orphanage from a horrible old woman who was beating the kids. Yes, I CAN decapitate people for fun, but I would rather be a hero than some folkchopping bumhole.
The most important thing to remember is that Call of Duty has sold in the millions. That's important because over 3 million people have played this game, but only one has murdered people and blamed it. This means that Kieth is trying to enforce censorship on something that could drive someone to kill. The problem with his logic is that the odds are over 3 million to one. You are more likely to be murdered in a robbery which goes wrong, perpetrated by kids who's parents failed them. Well why did those parents fail? I'm sure it was at least in part due to the over generous welfare state and light prison sentences given out under a Labour government in the last 15 years or so. Of which Keith Vaz was a member. If you put it that way, he is more responsible for at least half of the violent crimes in this country than the makers of CoD are for Brevik.
Sleep well, and don't worry! I'm not going to murder anyone. I'm also aware that for the most part I have spelt Keith wrong. I can't be arsed changing it, it's not like I get paid for this shit.
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